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with gratitude: a fond farewell

Hello, my dearest friends!

It is with a mixture of wholehearted gratitude, bittersweet mourning, and anxious anticipation that I have decided to end 2013 with the ending of a beautiful and life-altering part of my life -- the ending of to live boldly.

As my sporadic postings can attest, over the past few months, I have found it incredibly difficult to be fully engaged in each of my creative projects -- I have been preparing for the official 2014 launch of Wellness by Kate while working full-time, and it has been difficult to do any of them any real justice.

Thank you all for your beautiful comments, your heartfelt support and strikingly authentic presence.  This experience has been life-changing in the most fundamental way imaginable.  It has allowed me to connect creatively, explore my deepest desires for my life, and find freedom.  You have provided me with strength, connection and inspiration, and, for that, I will be forever grateful.

If you're interested in checking out my next grand adventure, Wellness by Kate, just click here or click the picture below!  Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter -- there are so many goodies to come!

Wishing you and yours a beautiful holiday and a very happy new year!

With love and gratitude,

Katie

truth bomb

In both my personal and professional life, I subscribe to daily "Truth Bombs" from the always lovely and inspiring Danielle LaPorte.  Some days, they are too true to contain, and I want to share them with everyone I meet - and all of you!  Today is most certainly one of them.

the autumnal blues

Despite that it is, in fact, one of my most favoritest times of the year (yes, I know, I made up a word), there is something about fall that brings out the blues in me.  Every year, without fail, October brings out a change in me that somehow mirrors the seasons -- a little chillier, a little more overcast.  A sneak peek into what it's looked like when I have, in fact, struggled with the creature that is depression.  And every year, I find that I try to deal with my blues by trying to hide them behind something else.  Shopping.  Eating.  Chick flicks.  Eating.

As you can see, in addition to my yearly patterns, my stress, anxiety and sadness cause me to call on my all-too-familiar coping mechanisms -- the ones that provide a surface-level mask to my emotion.  And I know that I'm not alone.  Maybe work is driving you crazy and all you want to do is bake and veg when you get home after your commute.  Maybe the chill in the air makes you want to stay in bed a little longer.  Maybe you're like me and the blues drive you to eat... well, anything.  Maybe you dive into a little retail therapy after a long week.  Maybe it's the couple glass of wine before bed. Whatever it is, you're not alone.

This year, foreseeing the annual autumnal blues, I've made it my personal mission to - rather than hide behind my coping mechanisms - to muster up some courage to feel and deal.  For me, that means being conscious of when I am feeling the most vulnerable, reaching for my support system, and sitting in the power of just feeling.  For me, that means taking a minute to think about why I'm reaching for that box of Junior Mints or craving that coffee or yearning to, well, escape.

Health is more than just what I eat and how often I workout.  It's more than the nutritional make-up of my lunch or how much protein I build into my day.  It's emotional, physical, spiritual, relational.  And to work for holistic health, healing and building every dimension of my life -- while there's no denying that it's very real (and sometimes painful) work to unmask and reveal -- means creating the space to reach my biggest, craziest, most wonderful dreams.  It's courageous, miraculous and the beginning of possibility.

How do you hide your blues?  What's stopping you from letting them be felt and seen and healed?  What dreams are yet to be explored in the unveiling?

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For more like this, visit Wellness by Kate at www.wellnessbykate.com.

because of the sadness

Louis C.K. explains, as only Louis C.K. can, why he won't give his children cell phones, and, in the midst of it all, visits the beauty of vulnerability, authenticity and the power of sadness.

**Be forewarned, profanity is present**

cultivate a better world

Whatever you think of the brand marketed through this video,

I think it's a pretty brilliant illustration of the world of factory farming.

The fact of the matter is that this is a glimpse into the reality of conventional large-scale farming practices in the United States... and with every dollar, we support and become what we consume.

wellness by kate

I can't believe it's finally happening! After studying with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition for the past six months, I am launching my own health coaching business, Wellness by Kate!

As a Holistic Health Coach, I support my clients to make manageable, step-by-step changes to their nutrition and lifestyle to help them permanently reach their goals.  Together, we journey towards transformation in a way that's enjoyable and easily integrated into their lives.

You're invited to check out my website (admittedly under construction in some areas), like us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter!  If you are ready to make some real changes in your life and learn how to reach YOUR goals, I have a special invitation for you.  I'd like to invite you to a free initial health consultation, where you'll have the opportunity for undivided attention from someone who wants to support you to look and feel better!

Thank you, as always, for your incredible support!  I love being a part of the To Live Boldly community!

belated blog-iversary

"People change all the time and forget to tell each other."

Lillian Gershwin

A little over a week ago, on a wholly blessed trip back home to the Pacific Northwest, I did it.  I chopped off my hair.  It was a spur of the moment decision, one only made at a trusted salon and with my super supportive sweetheart by my side.  I have no idea how to style it each morning (Have I mentioned that I have the lowest-maintenance beauty regimen ever?), but the change was made. 

You're probably wondering where I am going with this.  It's not often that I choose to talk about my hair (it's pretty unspectacular, as far as I am concerned)... but stay with me. For the first few days, I was deeply aware of the transition -- trying to find my way around a blow-dryer again, grateful for excited comments from family and friends.  But, after a few days, after returning to Flagstaff and daily routines, I found myself completely forgetting that, just last week, I had a set of long, luscious locks.  Co-workers and friends would comment about my "new do," and I would find myself searching for a few moments to remember that I did indeed look strikingly different from the last time they had seen me.  The novelty, the conscious recognition of change had worn off, and it took friends, family, the outside world to remind me that there had indeed been a transformation.

Last week, on my Facebook page (have you had a chance to "like" it yet?), I shared a link to a blog post by Danielle LaPorte on Celebrating Your Evolution.  In the post, she speaks about recognizing our transformation, acknowledging our changes and, as the title would suggest, celebrating our evolution! 

I am regrettably about a month behind in recognizing this, but, in August, To Live Boldly celebrated it's one year anniversary! Can you believe it? One year of reflection, 365 days of self-disclosure, 12 months of transformations in vulnerability and wellness.  A year of experimentation, of introspection, and of growth. A year of falling on my face, of risk-taking, of blunders that lead to joyful self-discovery.

Danielle's post inspired me to think about this past year of life in Flagstaff and the transformations, both painful and natural, that have occurred from taking this big, fat risk.  How do I see the world differently?  Where have my priorities changed?  How do I look at myself differently now?  My partner? My loved ones?

My world has changed dramatically.  I still seek and search and honestly have no idea what the future will bring, but I have discovered passion and self-acceptance and greater depths of joy.  My relationships have transformed, growing deeper as they change shape.  My desires for myself, my future, my health have shifted, and my ability to prioritize my joy is finally taking form.

I have been anxiously awaiting the shift into a new season -- there is a refreshing newness that comes with the turning of the leaves -- and what better time to take a moment to celebrate all that has transformed since we last welcomed Autumn?

What about you?  Whether in the last month, last year, or last ten years, take a moment to appreciate your transformation.

monday inspiration

 

Photo Credit: P. McCarthy

Hello, my dearest of friends!

Happy Monday! As I am sure you have noticed over the past few months, with school, work and the crazyness of life, it has been difficult for me to write consistently -- something that I assure you has been a sorely missed piece of my daily life.  However, thanks to those brief moments of reprieve each day, there has been no lack of inspiration and daily learning!

Each week, my search for inspiration shifts.  One week, I am emboldened to seek out ways to be more creative in my daily life.  In another, I can't help but learn more about physical health and wellness.  And still others require a search deeper inside for healing and stress relief.

Please know that you are all in my hearts and mind -- and so, in leiu of a longer post, I wanted to invite you, on this lovely (albeit sleepy for me) Monday morning, to begin with a little Monday morning creative inspiration to get your juices flowing! 

.:Revolutionizing your relationship with "doing":.

.:An Open Apology to All of My Weight Loss Clients:.

Do you have videos, links or articles that you love?  Post them below!  We want to see!

for the creatives

for the creatives.

*cough, cough, that means all of you, cough, cough*

a little link love to start off the week. 

"the story of freddy & the iphone - and 4 questions for the creatives"

also, check out the author, danielle laporte, and her fabulous blog. it just might inspire you to something great today.

"Only when the last tree has died, 

the last river has been poisoned, 

and the last fish caught, 

will we realize we cannot eat money."

-Cree Indian Proverb-

in loving memory

In loving memory of my beautiful friend, who showed up each day in the arena.

"My purpose is to unconditionally love and have compassion for myself and others. I do this by reducing and transcending suffering. This is what happens when my whole self shows up. In the joy of showing up as my whole self, I invite others to also heal, grow, and transform into their whole selves. Together, we join in the creation of a better world for all."

-Afifa Ahmed Shafi-

lovely, lovely love song.

Photo courtesy of Mary Lambert

She says, I smell like safety and home

I named both of her eyes, 'forever' and 'please don't go'

I have featured her poetry here before, and I am sure that most of you have heard her incredible voice emanating from the speakers on your radio... but Mary Lambert, the co-author of "Same Love," which went platinum just this past month, by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, is making some melodious waves herself in a release based on the same song. 

Whether you're gay, straight, or somewhere in between, "She Keeps Me Warm" puts words to love, with the graceful power of Mary's voice behind them.  It is intimate and deeply personal, resonating with the universal experience of being truly in love -- comfortable, life-giving, and exhilarating.  If you haven't had a chance to listen, do it. Listen, share, download.  And, if you have a moment, read her thoughts behind the release of this oh-so-personal single.

a beautiful conversation

To my dearest friends --

I wanted to pass this article along to you -- it is a strikingly beautiful piece about race, respect, history and humanity -- "Why I Don't Want to Talk About Race."  As always, I would love to know your thoughts, reactions, emotions and reflections!  If you enjoyed it, please pass it on!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Me.

balanced health

Each month, without fail, I have a financial panic attack.  My heart starts racing, my mind starts running circles around itself, my palms get a little sweaty.  All at once, I feel the desperate need to collect every bit of information on my financial status.  Check my online banking.  My page-long lists of everything that I expect to make from my job for the next 6 months and balance that with the minimum expenses for each month.  It's messy, complicated, and completely necessary to slow the sprinting thoughts in my mind.  I decide what I am going to save, how much I can spend and what my financial future looks like in 6 months time.

The funny thing is that, no matter where I have been in my career, whether I am making close to minimum wage or more than most 20-somethings expect to have, I have this monthly anxiety attack.  I can be beyond secure or barely scraping by, and, without fail, you'll find a peice of paper covered in dollar-amounts sitting on my desk every month. 

Truth be told, I am sitting in a good place most days.  I have come to recognize the patterns within my anxiety, and I have also come to understand that my relationship with money during these moments of panic is neither rational or healthy.  I am beyond grateful for parents and a sweetheart who straighten my head back on during these moments, who remind me that I have nothing to worry about, that I am young and financially secure, and that, should something happen, I have them to fall back on.  I am not alone.

Each of us have our own story, our own relationship with our finances.  This is just mine.  For some of us, we spend without worry.  For others, we scrimp and save, worrying about each penny.  For some of us, spending comes with immediate guilt, and, for others, the guilt comes once you return home.  Some of us spend to relax, and it's been proven that shopping relieves anxiety for many.  Others track every cent spent with an eagle's eye, carefully budgeting for each expenditure.  Each of us have our story.  And that's ok.

But to remain ignorant to our relationships with our finances would be a mistake, in my opinion.  To realize that we all have anxieties surrounding our spending, to be mindful of our innate financial priorities, and to realize that not everyone we meet will come with the same story... it's not only essential for knowing ourselves in a deeper way but is necessary to keep our relationships with our loved ones healthy and honest.  A striking and saddening number of romantic relationships end because of financial stressors, financial strain, and the unwillingness to delve into each others' financial stories to discover greater understanding.  Deep anxieties are masked by massive spending sprees, for some.  For others, life is restricted for fear of letting go. 

For me, today could have been one of those days.  To let anxiety rule my relationship with money and my life.  But I am working on cultivating health in that area of my life, something that has the potential to be transformative for my mind, body and the relationships with those that I love most.

i haven't forgotten you!

I cannot believe that it has been a month since I last posted.  Please don't think that I have forgotten you, because I haven't!  It's just been an insane month, chock full of added responsibility and undeniable blessings -- with another job transition at work, hours of schoolwork (which I am regrettably behind on), a visit from my fabulous mother, and the healthy desire to care for myself and my relationships!  I promise that I will write more, but, until then, I'll be sharing with you with the brief moments of inspiration, reflection and wellness that pepper my busy days.

A special thanks to an IIN (Institute for Integrative Nutrition) buddy for sharing this article with our cohort!  I would love to know your thoughts -- make sure that you leave them in the comments section below!

To make sure you don't miss a thing, follow me on Facebook!

eat local

Illustration credit: Ello Lovey
Make sure you check out her shop for amazing inspiration and beautiful prints 
(I have two in my home already)!

It's only been a few weeks since the weekly Farmers Market opened up for the summer season here in Flagstaff.  Not only does the market hold bushels full of delicious organic produce and artisinal treats, but eating local cuts down on both our cost and the cost to the environment!  Haven't had a chance yet to check out your local Farmer's Market? Check out Local Harvest for a list of Farmer's Markets and local farms near you!

love this

It's no secret that one of my favorite researchers, writers and storytellers is the lovely Brene Brown, who shares with us about the depths of shame, the reality of being in the arena and fighting the good fight of authenticity and compassion, and our own power to know and love ourselves.

I wanted to share with you Brene's own advice on how to cultivate vulnerability in your own life and who deserves to hear your story.

the gift of siblings

Smack dab between Mother's Day and Father's Day, here is an article that celebrates the crazy ones that make us who we are, see us as we are, and love us as we are.

"With a friend, I have to be more articulate.  With my sisters (and brother), I can be my most primal self: inarticulate, childishly emotional.  I'll have a fight with my sister and say, 'O.K., I know we're in a fight, but I need your advice on something,' and we can just put the fight on hold. They're the only people in the world you can be your worst self with and they'll still accept you."

i'm doing something beautiful

"These animals... you gotta take care of them... and not eat them."

one kitchen table at a time

Eat real food.

Not too much.

Mostly plants.

-Michael Pollan-

The food that we eat is changing.  Genetically modified produce and processed foods blanket our grocery story shelves - playing a role in over 85% of the foods in conventional grocery stores.  And, without awareness, we are allowing these foods to change the way that we eat, the way that we live, the way that our bodies function and respond.  The incidence of childhood food allergies are skyrocketing. The impact on our environment is irreparable.  And agri-commerce companies don't want you to know.

But things are changing.  Just this past week, Chipotle revealed its list of GMO ingredients, announcing plans to phase out their use in restaurants nationwide.  There are dozens of GMO-labeling bills working their way through our legislative systems, and Connecticut proved victorious in passing their own GMO-labeling bill just this past week.  Nationwide activism continues to put pressure on Washington to repeal the Monsanto Protection Act.  And countries around the world are rejecting the use of GMO crops, as evidenced by Hungary's recent burning of 1,000 acres of GMO corn.

We don't have to be blind consumers.  Our Food Industry relies on our continued support... and, with greater knowledge, more awareness and a commitment to the health of ourselves, our children and our world, we have the power to take a stand, one kitchen table at a time.

In honor of today's International March Against Monsanto, the world's most prominent agri-commerce giant and creators of Round-Up Ready crops and pesticides, I wanted to pass along two sides of the story.  Read up.  Watch the video.  Do your own research. Stand for real food.

READ --> "Listening to the Women of Monsanto."

WATCH -->

violence & silence

Lots of videos, I know. But sometimes, the wisdom of others is too big to parcel out into a blog post.

ag-gag legislation

Whether you're a vegetarian, a vegan or a meat eater...

this impacts you.

just a step away

I have a confession to make. Seems like a regular thing here on toliveboldly, huh? But, as I am a fan of authenticity, honesty and vulnerability, I'm pretty much ok with the open-up-my-heart-and-spill thing.

Truth be told, as I run a wellness blog and am studying to be a Health Coach, it's a little embarrassing and a lot humbling, but... I suck at the health thing, sometimes.  There are days when it seems like, just as I've gotten on track with healthy eating, my exercise routine goes out the window.  Or days when my stress level coaxes me towards my fall-back comfort foods.  To be honest, there are evenings that cooking a healthy meal sends me off the deep-end, as my perfectionist tendencies rear up into anxiety-fueled tears, and afternoons where a latte from Starbucks sounds better than making a lunch.  Some nights, I fall asleep realizing that I haven't taken the time to feed my most fundamental needs - for communication, for spiritual balance, for movement and purpose. My guess is that you have your days, too.

But the beautiful part about wellness is that we are never more than a step away from making a healthy choice -- and not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually.  Instead of letting stress and anxiety trigger your unhealthy habits, take a relaxing walk, grounding yourself with each step.  Instead of planning a complicated meal, sure to raise expectations... and stress levels, keep it simple, know your limits, and cook with fresh foods and whole grains. 

There have been days where living an embodied, healthy life looked about as possible as scaling Mount Everest -- my desires to be strong, healthy, and fit were mixed in with a heaping dose of societal expectation, shame and self-doubt.  I felt as though, to change one thing, I had to change everything -- a task that seemed down right impossible. 

But, the truth is, it only takes one step to begin the journey to wellness.  Drink more water.  Take a walk around the block to de-stress during the workday.  Unplug before bed and take some time to cultivate your spiritual practice, whatever that may be.  Get a massage.  Cultivate your relationships.  Practice cooking with new foods -- increasing your intake of whole grains or dark, leafy greens or a new kind of protein (hint, hint, plants have protein, too). 

Our healthy choices don't have to be overwhelming. My challenge to you this month is to pick one thing, one achievable goal, and make it happen! Join with a friend, share here at toliveboldly -- use the momentum (and accountability) of others to encourage you to keep walking those steps toward wellness!

For me, this month is about getting back on track with exercise -- a part of healthy living that I am notoriously bad at! Each day, I have set a goal to sweat-a-day for the month of May.  Whether it's a brisk walk in the park with my dog, a 20-minute yoga workout, or a hardcore sweat-fest, by setting a daily, manageable goal -- and finding others to keep me encouraged and motivated -- I'm taking a step towards wellness.

What about YOU?!

be a patriot

via Robyn O'Brien

enough

Photo by P. McCarthy

I sat down to write... and all that emerged was gratitude.  I wanted to find the newest research or seek out the deepest reflection... and all that I could see was appreciation.

As I drove to work this morning, all 10 minutes of my daily commute, my thoughts did not drift to to-do tasks or grocery lists.  As I sat down for dinner, it was not the food on my plate that I consumed.  It was an overwhelming, undeniable, completely encapsulating thankfulness.

For some reason -- maybe it is because I have written on the subject of gratitude before, or maybe it's some lofty expectation that I have for myself -- I did not think that it passed muster for a blog post.  For some reason, I told myself that the expression of gratitude was, inexplicably, not enough.

But, for me, right now, it is more than enough.

I am grateful for, and so utterly aware of, 
the steps along the path that prepared me for this moment. 
I am grateful for friendships that, despite time, distance, and change,
are founded in pure love.
I am grateful for goodnight kisses and good morning 'I love you's'.
I am grateful for cuddles with puppies and kitten kisses.
I am grateful for the challenge, for those that disagree.
I am grateful for family, for love, for knowing how to heal each other.
I am grateful for best friends, for old friends.
I am grateful for vegetable gardens and moments connected to the earth.
I am grateful for long walks and spontaneous sprints.
I am grateful for the taste of celery... weird, but true.
I am grateful for those that inspire me, 
even when they have no idea that they do.
I am grateful for lectures, and books, and homework.
I am grateful that family is only a plane ride away.

I am grateful for passion and drive.

I am grateful for sweet puppy dog snores.
I am grateful for sunlight and moonlight and stars.
For clear nights and blue skies.
I am grateful for my little mountain-top home.
I am grateful for you.

Thank you for allowing me to come into your lives and speak about the things that inspire me, challenge me and move me to change - it is an incredible gift.

As I close every post, my curiosity is always piqued. What about you? What moves you, inspires you, challenges you, drives you? What are you grateful for today, in this little moment?

a treat for your ears

It is neither here nor there, but I am over the moon for this little morsel o' goodness. I hope that it brightens your Monday as much as it does mine. xo

you're beautiful

It's true.

You are beautiful.

in a world of excess

America is a nation of paradoxes.  We work ourselves sick to make money... only to spend that money to get healthy again.  We seek connection in social media... only to lose the ability to truly connect to the world around us.  It reminds me of George Carlin's "The Modern Paradox":

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,

wider freeways but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more but have less.

We buy more but enjoy less.

We've added years to life but not life to years.

In my nutrition classes, we learn time and again how the modern American diet -- an excess of sugar and preservatives -- is leading us to become an overweight, overmedicated population.  We learn about how our culture of excess has led to unconscious bingeing and convenience consumption.  But on the flip side... we are a nation with 16 million underfed children.

A few days ago, as I was searching for new recipes on some of my favorite food blogs, I stumbled across an internet-wide event sponsored by The Giving Table, an organization whose purpose is to empower others to "Do Good with Food."  

I know that I am a little late.  The event -- in which over 200 food bloggers posted budget-friendly recipes that cost $4 or less, the average amount that participants in our nation's food stamp programs receive per person per day -- commenced this past Monday.  But it provided a much needed wake up call... a reminder of the flip-side of our consumer culture.  It reminded me of the ever-widening gap in both wealth and wellness within our society and my responsibility to reflect... and act.  The honest truth is that food insecurity, which impacts 48.8 million Americans, is about a lot more than food.  It affects health, education, socioemotional learning.  And, in a nation of excess... well, it's unacceptable.

I wanted to leave you with a beautiful piece that I discovered as a part of Food Bloggers Against Hunger!  Have a beautiful weekend, my friends. xo

musical reflections: guest blogger

In a sea of junk mail and over-zealous mass marketing, my favorite emails to receive (other than your comments, of course!) are those that come from my youngest sister, who is - at the age of twelve - the most perfectly ridiculous and creative little spitfire I've ever met (don't tell her I told you...).  Each week,   she sends a different combination of family members -- parents, sisters, brother, our sweethearts -- the best emails in the world.  Sometimes absurd and other times reflective, she continues to amaze me with her imagination, complete ridiculousness and depth.

Instead of our usual toliveboldly post, the little spitfire has given me permission to repost one of my favorite emails.  Whether or not you connect with the message or feel the same way, I find myself deeply inspired (and unbelievably proud) by the depth and passion behind her reflection.  Without further ado, please help me welcome our first guest blogger: the infamous "Yoshi" Krueger**!!!

**Obviously not her real name... though I'm pretty positive that she wishes it was.

"Inspiration"

I've got an inspiration about something. You know how I'm appalled about music not being in therapy, because it can positively effect a persons' mood?!

I was listening to Home by Phillip Phillips, when it got me inspired... listen to the song.

Close your eyes and let it fill you with it's melody.  It really does have an effect.

It's amazing what some lyrics and a melody will do to a person. It's truly inspiring.

The melody is simple with simple lyrics, but together they are perfect.

Music defines us.  It can effect us emotionally in ways that even the most aggravating person can't compete with.  It fills me with... joy, pride, happiness?

Watch August Rush, then you'll get a better feel for what it does. 

"It" meaning music. Any kind. It doesn't matter as long as it has an imprint on you.

Then hold onto that feeling and keep it with you for the rest of the day.

That's your homework.

1. Listen to Home by Phillip Phillips.

2. Really listen, but don't strain yourself.

3. Watch August Rush.

4. Find a piece of music or a song that will give you something to hold onto.

5. Keep that feeling for the rest of the day.

6. Email me back (or comment) and tell me what you feel.

Personally, I get this tingly feeling coursing through my veins.

That's what I'm talking about.

That sense of pride or hope.  It fills you.  It consumes you.

In a good way of course.

to come alive

Photo via French by Design

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My deepest apologies for the inconsistency in my bloggery lately!  As I said before, life has thrown a number of challenges and unexpected blessings my way, and it's been quite the task to take them all in and digest them.  Needless to say, it hasn't left much time for organizing those thoughts and reflections into a comprehensible blog post!

A couple of months ago, as we rolled into 2013, I began reading The Happiness Project, which chronicles one woman's year-long exploration into what makes people happy.  Each month takes on small life-changes, wrapped neatly (and hilariously) around a monthly theme.  January tackled boosting energy, while February worked through remembering love and relationships.  Amazingly enough, March's theme was centered on bringing happiness practices into work.  A couple of months ago, after weeks of corporate uncertainty and waffling, my hours working for a local non-profit here in Flagstaff were dramatically reduced.  In the weeks after receiving notification that my hours were to be cut in half, losing my health insurance and the knowledge of certain income, I spent hours (mixed in with anxiety-fueled freakout sessions) reflecting on my next step.  Do I move on from my years in social services?  Do I hold out for the possibility of added hours?  How do I maintain my motivation and my dedication to the families that I serve without knowing what the future holds?  Is this a tragedy... or an opportunity?

Opportunity.  It was this last question that proved the most inspirational for me during my bouts of uncertainty and anxiety.  It's as if the insecurity of my position was just the thing to knock me out of my career complacency and out of my comfort zone.  I was forced to ask myself the question: if not this, then what?  What would I do if I could do anything?  What changes would I make if I knew that I could not fail?  What changes would I make even if I failed?

The unknown and uncertain awakened in me the reality of possibility.  I could finally begin working towards goals that I had set aside for another day, could finally go after what I am passionate about.  Could finally make the bold choice, living out what this journey of courage has been all about.

Months and months ago, I had begun researching schools that specialized in nutrition, health and wellness, a clear passion of mine.  I dug deep into reviews and accreditation, contacted old friends and new connections to learn more about the options.  And, then, just like many of our passions in life, I set it aside, put it on a shelf for another day... when it would be more convenient.  I was waiting for the perfect timing, for the clouds to part with assurances of financial security and the guarantee of success.  Yeah... not sure what I was thinking.  Courage never looks clean and neat.  It's messy and sweaty.  Bold choices are not guaranteed to succeed.  Heck, many of them lead to leave-you-flat-on-your-ass failure.  But to be the man in the arena, face marred by dust and sweat and blood... is worth the fight.

The anxiety, the uncertainty, the insecurity... it's opportunity.

Last Monday, I began my studies with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to become a health coach.  Thanks to the amazing support of my family and friends, I have taken the dream off of the shelf and decided to live it.  I am so excited for the next year -- to learn about our bodies, our connection with food, and how to transform our health into wellness.  I am so excited to begin building a career of passion and inspiration and to live out my deepest intentions for the process.  No longer will I let the fear of inconvenience allow me to live comfortably... it's time to live boldly.

and we're off!

Happy Thursday, beautiful friends!

Guess what?!  I am going on VACATION!  I'll be taking a little break from blogging while I'm out of town, but it doesn't mean my mental wheels stop turning!

I'll be back in a little over a week with lots more introspective overanalysis, quite possibly a million photos, health and wellness excitement, and more!  In the meantime, leave a little note with what YOU would like to hear about from toliveboldly!

we found love in a meat-less place

Justin Timberlake - Bring It On Down 2... by IdolxMuzic

great responsibility: tedxmanhattan

inspired to action

As I mentioned last week, there have been a ton of (beautiful) changes in the past month or so that are taking some time to process.  However, all of the transition -- it seems to be almost constant transition -- has not slowed down my voracious appetite for knowledge!

Over the last few months, as I have begun to unpack my passion for healthy living, I have been saddened, enlivened, heartbroken and inspired by what I have been learning.  From how we exercise to our search for mindful living, from holistic medicine to what we eat, our daily habits transform how we live out our lives.  And the more that I learn, the more I realize how my ignorance has shaped my unhealthy habits and how greater knowledge is helping me live both with greater self-compassion and greater compassion for the world (and environment) around me.

What about YOU?!  What inspires you to live well and with greater compassion?!  What habits have you created to live boldly?  Do you have a book, a movie, a piece of research that has transformed your choices?  I want to know!

smoothie heaven

My deepest apologies for the delay in posting!  I have spent the last few weeks starting some new things within my job, changing some major parts of my daily health routine, and... drum-roll, please... enrolling in a program to become a Health and Wellness Coach!  Working hard to process it all - I beg your forgiveness in the meantime!

A few weeks ago, I asked my favorite readers (psst... that's YOU) for their favorite smoothie recipes!  I have been in smoothie heaven lately, loving the summery feeling of all that fruit, getting some delicious and delightful nutrients, and growing in inspiration as I explore different combinations.  

Here is our winning entry, by the lovely Mary! It's an incredible combination of nutrients. 

Note: These measurements are just estimates!  That's the beauty of smoothie-making, explore to make the smoothie fit your taste-buds! 

1.5 c. Vanilla Coconut Milk (Mary suggests "SoDelicious" because it's seriously so delicious!  I agree!)

1 c. frozen raspberries

1 handful of spinach

1 TBSP ground flax

1/2 to 1 banana

1-2 TBSP of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter (depending on your love of peanut butter)

Toss 'em all into a blender and make it happen!

I love learning from YOU all, as readers -- out there fighting the fight, living lives of health!  Come be a part of the toliveboldly experience!  What inspires you to make healthy choices?! Do you have a favorite blog, movie, article, daily piece of inspiration?!  I want to know!

how do you workout?

If you're anything like me, with winter in full-gear, your workout habits are forced to change!  Here in Flagstaff, the weather changes daily - a beautiful 50 degrees and sunny this past weekend and 6 inches of snow today!  

How and where do you like to workout?  Outdoors?  Indoors?  In the gym or on a trail? 

Check out NY Times Well to gain some of the benefits for yourself!

speaking of love...

A little Seattle.
A lot of soul.
Be still my heart.

love's forms

This past Saturday, my sweetheart and I celebrated a belated Valentine's Day.  True to the values of our relationship, we made it low key, chatting leisurely over a cup of coffee and settling in for pizza at a neighborhood hangout.  While I have never been one for the classic romantic Valentine's Day celebration, I have always loved, well, LOVE.  I am fascinated by relationship, captivated by deep vulnerability, and encouraged as I watch families, partners and friends walk through broken hearts, tension and intense challenge.  I am enlivened by the joy found only in authentic relationship, deeply moved by displays of genuine affection, and grateful everyday for the great loves in my life.

Whether or not you celebrate Valentine's Day, whether it's with a partner, good friends, or on your own, and despite the red and white distractions perched on store shelves, for me, the day provides an opportunity to reflect on love in all its forms.

I have been ridiculously lucky in love.  I'm not talking about romantic love, though my many years of singleness have certainly paid off with my very handsome honey.  

For me, my great loves, my true loves... well, they're my family.  Hilarious and warm, my story only makes sense in the context of their ridiculous humor and deep and unconditional love.  I don't even know if there are words to express how true and deep and foundational my love is for them.  From them, I inherited the most foundational parts of who I am: my humor, my compassion, my ability to be angry and love deeply simultaneously.  From them I learned that I am wholly and unconditionally loved, priceless, worthy.  In no way are we perfect, cursed by the same pain, separation and heartache that most families face, our story deepened by grief and loss, my parents' separation, and our individual challenges.  But the love is deep, the forgiveness real, and the gratitude unending.  In a month where sappy romantic love is idealized, the fairy tale ending - chock full of Bachelor-esque grandiosity - glorified, it is the simplicity of our family's love that leaves me speechless.

I am strikingly aware that what we have is rare, that family is chosen and not always born. And my deepest hope is that you too get to share your life and your love with your great loves, whoever they might be.

P.S. This is where I come from.

make the time

Via SoulPancake, a video that will break your heart in the very best way.

Find 12 minutes in your day.  Oh, and bring the tissues.

truth.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

.:His Holiness the Dalai Lama:.

intention

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people 

the right to pursue happiness. 

You have to catch it yourself."  

.:Benjamin Franklin:.

Last month, as we rang in the new year, I wrote about the role of happiness in our lives and creating a small, manageable set of goals with the intention of making room for more happiness and joy.  I began, just as Gretchen Rubin did in her book, The Happiness Project, setting goals that would enliven and energize my daily life.  Working out, sleeping more, de-cluttering my home to make room for more joy (not to mention the clarity that comes with a de-cluttered space).  

Honestly, while I was deeply enthused and excited about the possibilities of creating a "happiness practice," I had no idea that, with my new practice, I would be setting in motion a personal theme for 2013.  Only one month into 2013, I can say that this year has already brought with it an intensity that has challenged my deepest intentions to think positively, make healthy and whole-hearted decisions, and be courageous in my daily life.  And, I'm not alone.  In a moment in history where Americans ages 18-33 are reporting significantly higher levels of stress than their older counterparts, the circumstances of everyday life have the power to wear a person down.

Last week, as I caught up with my brother in Boston, he said, "You know, every time I get caught up on somebody's life in our family, it seems like our circumstances are trying to one-up each other in terms of how hard they can be.  At the moment, I'd say your life is in the lead." I laughed and reminded him that, in the scheme of things (or, as my mom raised us to think, on the scale of human tragedy), the circumstances of the moment have very little impact on how ridiculously joy-filled my (very blessed) life is.  I mean... I get to live an adventure-filled, passion-igniting and gratitude-increasing life alongside my best friend in the world and with the overwhelming love and support of a freakishly amazing family.  And the adversity of the moment can do little to change that.

This weekend, my sweetheart and I watched the film Happy, which chronicles the lives of individuals around the world and explores what makes us, as humans, truly happy (like I said, a completely unintentional continuation of this years' theme).  Scientists have found that, while genetics determine, on average, 50% of our happiness levels, our life circumstances determine a mere 10% of our overall happiness.  The remaining forty percent?!  This is made up of our intentional behavior - the positive practices that we have put in place to increase our happiness.  They identify six universal elements of happiness: 

Play

Practicing gratitude

Compassion and altruism

Connection to community

Mindfulness (they call this a "flow state")

Exploring something new

Consider this a monthly check-in.  What intentional practices have you put in place this year?  Take stock of the goals you have set for yourself. Where are you in reaching these goals?  

forget the "should"

Via FLO Living

Remember this post?!  I saw this picture on a friend's Facebook page 

and couldn't help but laugh!

budget friendly tip: fruit

If you're like me, you struggle to find budget friendly ways to eat healthy.  With reduced hours at work and an unforeseen (and massive) car repair, I am now, more than ever, working to find ways to fit in those healthy nutrients while keeping my all-too-thin pocketbook intact.  While buying in bulk works for most families (and their bank statements), we struggle to build those fruits and veggies into our weekly meal plans before they spoil!  And, without a weekly farmers market or affordable health-food store in sight, it takes a bit of creativity to eat healthy, environmentally-conscious and budget-friendly!  Recently, we've been heading to the frozen food section to get in those all-too-necessary nutrients -- but, I worry, is eating fresh produce more healthy than going frozen?  Check out what I found!

What about you?!  What are your best tips for eating healthy on a budget?

love

sick-day secrets

Photo Credit: P. McCarthy, 2013

What with working with a half-dozen families, spending hours upon hours in a muggy office with flu-ridden co-workers, and babysitting two very sick kids for the week, it's no wonder that, yet again, I have come down with a bug.  I've felt my body fight valiantly over the past few days, but... alas... it's a weekend of rest and hydrating liquids for me.  As my mind succumbs to the foggy power of my last dose of NyQuil, I thought that I would leave you with some weekend inspiration!  May your weekend be blessed with warmth, love and health!

This blog is like crack for the art lover.

I need a vacation like this.

Did you need another reason not to eat these things?

Love this relationship advice.

Wellness in The City.

What would you do if money was no object?

xx

P.S. After months of wavering back and forth, we finally bought a blender!  What's your favorite healthy smoothie recipe?!  The best recipe will be featured in an upcoming post!

not cool, robert frost

Two roads diverged in the woods,

and I took the road less traveled.

And it hurt, man!

Really bad.

Rocks!

Thorns!

And glass!

... not cool, Robert Frost!

But what if there really were two paths?

I would be on the one that leads to awesome.

holding gratitude

 

 

"Piglet noticed that though he had a Very Small Heart,

it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude."

-A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh-

 

I am grateful.

 

In the midst of a crazy week, hours cut at work, insurance benefits lost, and the anxiety that surrounds the question of What Next?, I am grateful.

 

For opportunity.

For the undeniable blessing of the basics.

For a family that spans space, time, and bloodlines.

For hours upon hours of The Office on Netflix.

For the ability to ask What Next?

For more time to write.

For a sometimes-too-full belly.

For a warm home filled with loving, warm bodies.

For cuddles.  And hugs.  And sweet words of affection.

For more time to read.

For a loving, hilarious sweetheart who understands me.

For a comforting savings account.

For growth.

For what is known.

For what is unknown and possible.

For more time to workout.

For health and happiness.

For passion.

For sitting in the anxiety of what might be.

For phone calls.

For plane tickets.

For compassion, understanding and deep love.

For rainy days that remind me of home.

For a clean bill of health.

For deeper learning and joyful exploration.

For adventure.

For more things than I could list in a lifetime.

 

What about you?

 

 



finding purpose

It doesn't happen often that I post twice in one day,

but I couldn't help but pass along this gem.

It's exactly what I needed to hear today.

 

The Myth of Finding Your Purpose.

 



success.

I basically love this:

 

The Secret Ingredient for Success.

 

Read it.

 



we need to talk

Supervisor: Hey, Katie, do you have time to chat this afternoon?

The words set off an immediate reaction. The equivalent of hearing your partner say, "We need to talk."

Me: Yeah, sure, of course!

Let the internal freak-out begin. Must keep a smile on my face. Don't let the anxiety show.

Supervisor: Half an hour or so?

Me: Perfect!

Perfect?!  Who am I kidding?  I just want to get it over with.  As I return to my office, I can almost hear my mind whirring with the possibilities.  Immediately, I fly into assumption-mode.  What did I do wrong?  Paperwork?  Did I cross a boundary?  Did I say something wrong?  My mind churns, as I try to think back on where I could have misstepped. 

This, by the way, has always been my first reaction, my first assumption.  What did I do wrong?  As a lifelong perfectionist, my reactions are steeped in shame.  I've become a pro at critical self-talk -- my arsenal full of personal flaws, at the ready for moments like these.  If something goes wrong, my first assumption is that that thing must be me.  Playing the self-blame game has become almost second-nature, damaging not only my relationship with myself but my relationships with those that I love.  Instead of opening up moments of conflict to become opportunities for authentic relational growth, it causes me to focus on my personal short-comings rather than the potential in strengthening my most valued connections.

But, as in all things, I am learning -- with the help of my partner, family and friends -- to transform that instinct for critical self-talk into some serious opportunities for self-love.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about one of the new books that I'm reading, The Happiness Project by author Gretchen Rubin -- who, utilizing wisdom from academics and philosophers alike, lived (and wrote about) a year of integrating different happiness practices in her life.  Last week, after visiting her (pretty fabulous) website, I signed up for her "Happier at Home: 21-Day Relationship Challenge."  Each day, Gretchen sends, via email, a different tip for integrating happiness practices into your relationship -- make sure you check them out, it's not too late to sign up!  The funny thing is that, while I am so inspired in learning new ways to love my partner, her tips are teaching me new ways to love myself!  Only five days into a three-week challenge, I am finding that each of her tips can be transformed into a practice of self-compassion.

Day One: Kiss in the morning, Kiss in the night. Ok, ok, it doesn't directly translate, but the practice of showing yourself and your loved ones affection, does.  Why not use this moment to listen to your body and show it some serious love?  Take a bath, go for a run, take a yoga class.  How do you show your body appreciation and love?

Day Two: Give gold stars.  You make it a habit to verbally affirm those around you, whether they are family, friends or co-workers.  Why not turn it around on yourself?  Take this moment to appreciate one of your strengths.  Say it out loud if you want to -- you need to hear it.

Day Three: Make the positive argument.  One of the first lessons in fair fighting is to never make broad generalizations.  Finding yourself speaking some critical self-talk?  Use this moment to turn it around.  Instead of listening to your internal self-critic as it speaks to your weakness, take this moment to instead focus on what makes you strong.

Day Four: Under-react to a problem.  Ok, so we all screw up, we all have moments of stress or anxiety.  Don't ignore or minimize the responsibilities that you have, but take this moment to breathe and "under-react," facing your stressors or that screw-up from a place of peace and calm.

Day Five: Give warm greetings and farewells. So... I had a harder time applying this directly.  But I realized that, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I rarely take the time to kindly greet myself and speak kindness to my body.  Speak some love -- what do you appreciate about your body?

What about YOU?!  How do you find opportunities to cultivate self-compassion?!

By the way, as it usually happens, my talk with my supervisor had nothing to do with any mistakes that I made.  My critical self-talk and search for flaws was just my shame speaking.

love embodied.

the potential of what might be

"A ship is safe in harbor,

but that's not what ships are for."

 

Warning: ugly admission approaching. 

 

I hate not being in control. 

 

It probably makes me sound like a crazy person, but, hey, that's the risk in being vulnerable, right?  I don't mean to say that I'm a raging control-freak or anal to the point of being maniacal... but there is a part of me that tenses at the unknown, an anxiety when confronted with the uncontrollable.  I fast-forward movies to know how the conflict resolves.  My monthly financial freak-outs result in hours of financial organization and pages of projected income/expense worksheets.  I am the queen of to-do lists, grocery lists, packing lists. 

 

I hate not being in control.

 

A few months ago, I began a new position working with a local social service agency here in Flagstaff.  Honestly, I love it.  It's challenging, enlivening, and awakens my creativity.  While our agency is huge and serves the vulnerable in our community in any number of ways, my role, as an in-home family support specialist, is quite specific.  I, along with my team, work with families that have been referred to us by state agencies, stepping-in in the their moment of crisis to stabilize the family and work through underlying issues.  Even on those days when it feels like our interventions are hitting a wall, I feel completely engaged in the challenge to transform.

 

However, like most social service non-profits, we are beholden to a larger financial structure... one that has been hit hard by budget cuts and economic depression.  Despite the work that we do, we are threatened with downsizing, lay-offs and more.  And, to be completely honest, as a planner, it's been... well, tough.  I play with the possibilities in my head, working out the logistics of each possible outcome.  I stress about the finances, consider other alternatives, question whether I should, in fact, be doing this work. 

 

But, over the weeks, my anxieties have transformed into a practice of letting go.  Where I once spent most of my time working out the options in my head, weighing each possibility and trying to find ways to control the outcomes, I finally realized that the truth is that... I am not in control.  While, yes, we can budget a little tighter, go out to dinner a little less, find ways to plan meals that capitalize on savings, I have to, sometimes daily, remind myself that I am not in control.  And, while I don't know what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or next month, the truth is that, at this moment, despite the unknown of the future, I have the choice to live with joy.  To realize that I love my life, my job, my family and my friends.  To be assured that, whatever comes down the pipeline, I am blessed, gifted and held. 

 

Believe me, it's not easy.  Many days, my anxieties get the best of me, my mind whirring on overdrive with logistics and outcomes.  But I remind myself that what comes will come and, whatever the outcome, today I get to practice letting those anxious urges go and just be present.  Instead of holding on, desperately grasping for control, I have the opportunity to open up and make room for the potential of what might be, potential that would be held captive by my quest for the knowledge of what comes next.

 

I hate not being in control.  But I'm working on it.

 

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening,

or exactly where it is all going.

What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges

offered by the present moment,

and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope."

-Thomas Merton-

secrets of adulthood

I am loving this book!  While reading The Happiness Project, I discovered author Gretchen Rubin's hilarious "Secrets of Adulthood" -- and I had to share!  

Do you have any secrets of adulthood to share?!

SECRETS OF ADULTHOOD

People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think.

It's okay to ask for help.

Most decisions don't require extensive research.

Do good, feel good.

It's important to be nice to everyone.

Bring a sweater.

By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.

Soap and water remove most stains.

Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.

If you can't find something, clean up.

You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you like to do.

Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.

You don't have to be good at everything.

If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.

Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

What's fun for other people may not be fun for you - and vice versa.

People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.

You can't profoundly change your children's natures by 

nagging them or signing them up for classes.

No deposit, no return.

the new fat

Word on the street is that stress is the "new fat."  In a culture where the new year brings a slew of hopeful (albeit usually broken) weight loss resolutions, research shows that we may (cough, cough, may?!) be focusing on the wrong side of the equation.  Janesse Bruce, a health and wellness media veteran, writes: "I see that the obesity crisis now has a sister crisis that threatens to knock it out of top billing: stress. Like its sibling, stress is an economic, medical and social problem of epidemic proportion and is making us emotionally depleted, physically sick, and, incidentally, fatter." 

We are a society bathing in stress.  We are traumatized, repeatedly, by the news media, stretched to our financial limits by American consumer habits, challenged to perfection by corporate competition, and exhausted by expectations.  And it shows.  Just like with our weight loss goals, we look for quick fixes and surface-level lifestyle shifts to make the change.  As Brene Brown says, "We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history." 

It's at this point that I make a vulnerable admission.  Despite my greatest personal hopes and expectations, attempts at lifestyle transformation, and... the fact that I write a blog focused on health and wellness, I am a walking knot of anxiety and stress. 

I'll be completely honest and admit to the fact that I am naturally (and probably genetically) high-anxiety and a true perfectionist -- cue the monthly financial freakout and my-house-is-too-cluttered heart palpitations.  But the past month - with the threat of cuts at work, a car accident, and a bout with the flu - has been particularly anxiety-fueled.  And, instead of relying on my well-researched, wellness-based methods of stress-relief, my default patterns of self-destruction include a menagerie of sugary treats, mind-numbing tv shows, and hours of "what if" ruminating.  Rather than cultivating practices of mindfulness and gratitude, I have found myself knee-deep in anxiety, my mind spinning with future worries.  And it's not only my thoughts that have been consumed... the stress trickles out into conversations and interactions with those that I love most.

Something needs to change.

I am not typically one that believes in New Year's resolutions.  When almost 80% of New Year's resolutions are broken... well, I can't put much stock in their power.  However, I am one for making goals.  Small, manageable, reachable goals.  Research continues to show that goal setting is transformative for success -- whether it's physical, emotional or fiscal.

While going through one of my "my-house-is-too-cluttered" anxiety-fests last week, I took a gander at one of my bookshelves and glanced upon a book that I had purchased years ago but never managed to read...

THE HAPPINESS PROJECT: 

Or why I spent a year trying to sing in the morning,

clean my closets, fight right, read Aristotle, and generally have more fun.

Gretchen Rubin writes with brilliant authenticity, allowing readers, allowing me, to openly approach the idea of making small, concrete goals to make more room for joy.  By exploring the works of famous philosophers and reputable academics, the book chronicles her monthly happiness project, making small, manageable changes in her daily habits and everyday perspectives.  I could not be more grateful for this inspiring find, as I search for a way to replace my stress with habitual joy.  As often occurs when I read, my reflections bring deeper motivation, daily inspiration and external reminders to cultivate practices of wellness, changing my habits and patterns through small changes.  Conveniently, Rubin has divided and themed her monthly goals, to be combined in the final month in one joyful month of happiness practices.

For January, Rubin's focus is to Boost Energy, breaking it down into manageable parts and citing findings from philosophers and academics alike in the creation of her goals:
*Go to sleep earlier
*Exercise better
*Toss, restore, organize
*Tackle a nagging task
*Act more energetic

For myself, I am working to create my own list of energizing goals and continue to be inspired as I read further!  I'm walking more, making a pile for donation, and finding ways to declutter my environment... though, I'll be honest, that sleep thing is sounding pretty good right about now.

-----------------------------------

What about for you?!  What are your goals this year?  What are some small, concrete goals that will help you boost your energy and make room for a little more joy?