love's forms

This past Saturday, my sweetheart and I celebrated a belated Valentine's Day.  True to the values of our relationship, we made it low key, chatting leisurely over a cup of coffee and settling in for pizza at a neighborhood hangout.  While I have never been one for the classic romantic Valentine's Day celebration, I have always loved, well, LOVE.  I am fascinated by relationship, captivated by deep vulnerability, and encouraged as I watch families, partners and friends walk through broken hearts, tension and intense challenge.  I am enlivened by the joy found only in authentic relationship, deeply moved by displays of genuine affection, and grateful everyday for the great loves in my life.

Whether or not you celebrate Valentine's Day, whether it's with a partner, good friends, or on your own, and despite the red and white distractions perched on store shelves, for me, the day provides an opportunity to reflect on love in all its forms.

I have been ridiculously lucky in love.  I'm not talking about romantic love, though my many years of singleness have certainly paid off with my very handsome honey.  

For me, my great loves, my true loves... well, they're my family.  Hilarious and warm, my story only makes sense in the context of their ridiculous humor and deep and unconditional love.  I don't even know if there are words to express how true and deep and foundational my love is for them.  From them, I inherited the most foundational parts of who I am: my humor, my compassion, my ability to be angry and love deeply simultaneously.  From them I learned that I am wholly and unconditionally loved, priceless, worthy.  In no way are we perfect, cursed by the same pain, separation and heartache that most families face, our story deepened by grief and loss, my parents' separation, and our individual challenges.  But the love is deep, the forgiveness real, and the gratitude unending.  In a month where sappy romantic love is idealized, the fairy tale ending - chock full of Bachelor-esque grandiosity - glorified, it is the simplicity of our family's love that leaves me speechless.

I am strikingly aware that what we have is rare, that family is chosen and not always born. And my deepest hope is that you too get to share your life and your love with your great loves, whoever they might be.

P.S. This is where I come from.