to come alive

Photo via French by Design

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My deepest apologies for the inconsistency in my bloggery lately!  As I said before, life has thrown a number of challenges and unexpected blessings my way, and it's been quite the task to take them all in and digest them.  Needless to say, it hasn't left much time for organizing those thoughts and reflections into a comprehensible blog post!

A couple of months ago, as we rolled into 2013, I began reading The Happiness Project, which chronicles one woman's year-long exploration into what makes people happy.  Each month takes on small life-changes, wrapped neatly (and hilariously) around a monthly theme.  January tackled boosting energy, while February worked through remembering love and relationships.  Amazingly enough, March's theme was centered on bringing happiness practices into work.  A couple of months ago, after weeks of corporate uncertainty and waffling, my hours working for a local non-profit here in Flagstaff were dramatically reduced.  In the weeks after receiving notification that my hours were to be cut in half, losing my health insurance and the knowledge of certain income, I spent hours (mixed in with anxiety-fueled freakout sessions) reflecting on my next step.  Do I move on from my years in social services?  Do I hold out for the possibility of added hours?  How do I maintain my motivation and my dedication to the families that I serve without knowing what the future holds?  Is this a tragedy... or an opportunity?

Opportunity.  It was this last question that proved the most inspirational for me during my bouts of uncertainty and anxiety.  It's as if the insecurity of my position was just the thing to knock me out of my career complacency and out of my comfort zone.  I was forced to ask myself the question: if not this, then what?  What would I do if I could do anything?  What changes would I make if I knew that I could not fail?  What changes would I make even if I failed?

The unknown and uncertain awakened in me the reality of possibility.  I could finally begin working towards goals that I had set aside for another day, could finally go after what I am passionate about.  Could finally make the bold choice, living out what this journey of courage has been all about.

Months and months ago, I had begun researching schools that specialized in nutrition, health and wellness, a clear passion of mine.  I dug deep into reviews and accreditation, contacted old friends and new connections to learn more about the options.  And, then, just like many of our passions in life, I set it aside, put it on a shelf for another day... when it would be more convenient.  I was waiting for the perfect timing, for the clouds to part with assurances of financial security and the guarantee of success.  Yeah... not sure what I was thinking.  Courage never looks clean and neat.  It's messy and sweaty.  Bold choices are not guaranteed to succeed.  Heck, many of them lead to leave-you-flat-on-your-ass failure.  But to be the man in the arena, face marred by dust and sweat and blood... is worth the fight.

The anxiety, the uncertainty, the insecurity... it's opportunity.

Last Monday, I began my studies with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to become a health coach.  Thanks to the amazing support of my family and friends, I have taken the dream off of the shelf and decided to live it.  I am so excited for the next year -- to learn about our bodies, our connection with food, and how to transform our health into wellness.  I am so excited to begin building a career of passion and inspiration and to live out my deepest intentions for the process.  No longer will I let the fear of inconvenience allow me to live comfortably... it's time to live boldly.