As you'll see, this is not the typical video that I would post here at toliveboldly -- But I received a lovely reminder about this beautiful video from one of the greatest men in my life (my brother)... which just reminded me about how wonderful he is and how blessed I am to be his older sister. It encapsulates so much about the human reality, love, death, family, life and joy... I hope that you enjoy this little bit of light.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
oh the places we'll go
As I continue to blog, I am learning bits and pieces about myself. For example, I have learned that I need to either write in silence (not even the beautiful harmonies of my favorite musicians can intrude) or inside of the white noise found only in the busiest of cafes. I have learned that it takes days to seek out inspiration and hours to write and edit a post -- lovingly pouring over every word, every reflection (most commonly about learning to love ourselves through reflection and wellness), and, still, the habit to negatively criticize myself for poor writing or, more commonly, for being "not enough" in a post rears is ugly head... forcing me to challenge that self-doubt and actually live out the words that I write (for that I am eternally grateful). This blog has inspired deeper reflection, more authentic living and the necessity to be patient with myself (and my body). And, again, for that, I am undeniably, eternally, forever in debt to you all.
From you, I would ask for patience, as well -- as I transition from the Seattle transplant who has all the time in the world to read, write, workout and reflect to the real-world me, with distractions, stressors and, as you have read, the human frailty of the common cold. This is where the rubber meets the road, where the desire to learn more, read more, reflect more is met with the need to pay bills, sleep and schedule life in. As I said in last week's post, toliveboldly will be regularly updated each Friday with lovely little tidbits scattered in throughout the week for added flavor.
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This past week, I asked my twitter followers for suggestions for this week's blog posting, and thank goodness for their brilliance, as their suggestions provided plenty of reflective meat for me to chew on!
Little backstory... When I entered college as a freshman, I began my fall semester as a pre-med student. I had, for years, created an image in my head of myself as a pediatrician or family practitioner (funny, even then, I knew that the hardcore elements of medicine would be too much for me...) and, when the pre-med advisors told us that only 1/3 of us would graduate with a pre-med concentration, I was sure that that would be me. Obviously, we know how that turned out...
I discovered, about halfway through my spring semester, that, while I most certainly could have lived out the 8-10+ years of med school and residency (gulp)... medicine was not my greatest passion. And so I found myself taking classes in what is actually a true passion of mine -- the always intriguing field of human behavior. I assumed that I was meant (see what I get when I assume?!) to be a therapist -- after all, isn't that what psychology majors are built for? But this past year, after years on a path built for a therapy practice and six months into a graduate program for just that, I realized that I had built my path on a faulty assumption. After withdrawing, I was left with the question... if not this, then what am I meant to do?
I am continually fascinated by our society's concept of a career path. In a world where the average person will change jobs every five years, we hold to the idea that we are meant for one career and built to see it through for the 30+ years that we reside in the working world. We continue to ask children, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" We perpetuate the concept that whatever they choose - a policeman, a doctor, a dancer - will be what they are for the majority of their adult lives... almost as if that is the whole of the adult identity. But, while that may have been our nation's reality for previous generations and is actually how some individuals work best, for the majority of us, it will be an ever-changing, ever-evolving part of our lives. In fact, the transitions in our lives necessitate this evolution. Just as the recent graduate wrestles with the question of "what next?" -- so too is the new retiree faced with the question of purpose: "How am I going to spend my time? Where am I going to focus my passion? What have I always wanted to do?" But, whether we are driven to find the one career that we can sink into for years or seemingly bounce from experience to experience, I believe that our career, our work, our "what I am I meant to do?" is not so much about defining our existence but about cultivating our truest selves and living out our life's purpose.
After withdrawing from my graduate program, I dove headfirst into answering the question of "what am I meant to do?" I restructured my resume, I interviewed for positions I had never considered before, and I worked in fields that I would never have imagined for myself. And, while I'll admit that I still feel far from knowing exactly where I would like to go in my career or how to get there, these experiences of reinvention were revealing and transformative. I have learned that I have strengths, passions, things that get my fire burning and challenge me in a way that transcends my field of employment. I have learned that there is power in community, both positive and negative, and I have since been more attuned to its effect. I have felt certain elements resonate with my authentic self and others noisily grind in protest against it. I have grown through actively seeking out new experiences as well as focusing inward to reflect on my deeper desires, goals, and priorities.
While, for me, my questions are, as of late, directed towards my future career path, my instinct is that this reflection is a transcendent part of life, one that can be applied to the future just as much as to how I am going to live out my purpose, my priorities, and my values in the present. Our life's purpose -- which I would also define as our signature presence -- is more than what we do, it's who we are in this moment and what we impart, in our authenticity, to the world.
Our purpose, our understanding of it, and how it is lived out in the present moment is, with reflection, always changing, always growing -- the elements of our signature presence revealed and refined. What about for you? How are do you see your purpose -- your strengths, inclinations, passions and authentic self -- revealed? How has it shaped your career aspirations or choices? How have you seen your signature presence revealed and refined?
Want to connect outside of toliveboldly? Email me at toliveboldly at gmail dot com!
Have a beautiful weekend, my wonderful friends, and remember to be kind to yourself!
After withdrawing from my graduate program, I dove headfirst into answering the question of "what am I meant to do?" I restructured my resume, I interviewed for positions I had never considered before, and I worked in fields that I would never have imagined for myself. And, while I'll admit that I still feel far from knowing exactly where I would like to go in my career or how to get there, these experiences of reinvention were revealing and transformative. I have learned that I have strengths, passions, things that get my fire burning and challenge me in a way that transcends my field of employment. I have learned that there is power in community, both positive and negative, and I have since been more attuned to its effect. I have felt certain elements resonate with my authentic self and others noisily grind in protest against it. I have grown through actively seeking out new experiences as well as focusing inward to reflect on my deeper desires, goals, and priorities.
While, for me, my questions are, as of late, directed towards my future career path, my instinct is that this reflection is a transcendent part of life, one that can be applied to the future just as much as to how I am going to live out my purpose, my priorities, and my values in the present. Our life's purpose -- which I would also define as our signature presence -- is more than what we do, it's who we are in this moment and what we impart, in our authenticity, to the world.
Our purpose, our understanding of it, and how it is lived out in the present moment is, with reflection, always changing, always growing -- the elements of our signature presence revealed and refined. What about for you? How are do you see your purpose -- your strengths, inclinations, passions and authentic self -- revealed? How has it shaped your career aspirations or choices? How have you seen your signature presence revealed and refined?
Want to connect outside of toliveboldly? Email me at toliveboldly at gmail dot com!
Have a beautiful weekend, my wonderful friends, and remember to be kind to yourself!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
get up and move
Somehow, I managed to start autumn off on a rough note... with a sore throat and total lack of energy, but it's meant that this week has had a definite theme for me: getting and staying healthy. This has resulted in me finding ways to workout despite the cold, forgoing the usual ramped up cardio workout for a low-key yoga session and biking or walking to run errands, eating healthy and, always, remembering to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
It's also meant a little extra time to do the personal research that I love -- finding new research, health tips and more -- which means that I get to pass them onto you!
As autumn ramps up with work, sports, school and more -- what are you doing to keep a fitness routine?! I want to know!
Also, make sure you check out some of the benefits of an A.M. workout!
Monday, September 24, 2012
nugget
"The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any."
Alice Walker
can food be addictive?
We've all experienced those insane cravings (did I forget to mention last week's desperate search for a chocolate fix that involved not one but two trips in the car to find satisfaction...?). Whether its ice cream, cookies or your personal comfort food, researchers are recently discovering a link between our neurological firings and food addiction -- and the bingeing that sometimes goes along with it.
Check it out and leave your comment below! What are your reactions?!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
don't miss this
My deepest apologies for a lack in posting! This week has, long story short, been an adventure -- one of knowing myself, making really tough decisions and putting emotional and mental health first!
As always, I am completely humbled that you are here to join me in living boldly. Every moment has been such a blessing -- challenging, definitely -- and such a gift. I wanted to be as transparent as possible and let you wonderful people know that, starting on September 28th, I will be regularly updating each week on Fridays! Make sure you check in throughout the week for the occasional irresistible snippet, link or health and wellness link!
Anyhow... Since leaving the Pacific Northwest, I have been completely in love with local Seattle music. My absolute favorite, and one you CANNOT miss if you love good music, is the incredible Kris Orlowski Band. Honestly, as soon as I hear the soothing, soulful sounds of Kris Orlowski's voice, I completely melt... AND they are giving away a free download of a brand new collaboration with Seattle violinist Andrew Joslyn (whose sweet strings you can hear in collaboration with other Northwest artists, like Macklemore and Ryan Lewis)!! Click on the image to check it out, I promise you won't regret it! (Did I mention that it's FREE?!)
As always, I am completely humbled that you are here to join me in living boldly. Every moment has been such a blessing -- challenging, definitely -- and such a gift. I wanted to be as transparent as possible and let you wonderful people know that, starting on September 28th, I will be regularly updating each week on Fridays! Make sure you check in throughout the week for the occasional irresistible snippet, link or health and wellness link!
Anyhow... Since leaving the Pacific Northwest, I have been completely in love with local Seattle music. My absolute favorite, and one you CANNOT miss if you love good music, is the incredible Kris Orlowski Band. Honestly, as soon as I hear the soothing, soulful sounds of Kris Orlowski's voice, I completely melt... AND they are giving away a free download of a brand new collaboration with Seattle violinist Andrew Joslyn (whose sweet strings you can hear in collaboration with other Northwest artists, like Macklemore and Ryan Lewis)!! Click on the image to check it out, I promise you won't regret it! (Did I mention that it's FREE?!)
Image via KrisOrlowski.com
Thursday, September 13, 2012
doing the work
"Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit."
The Road Less Traveled
M. Scott Peck
This past week has been a particularly difficult one for blog writing. Each time I would sit down at my computer to begin the process of brainstorming, writing and editing (and re-writing and re-editing), I found myself without inspiration. And, while I could easily chalk it up to writers block or just plain laziness, the truth is that it was just a plain old difficult week.
Since moving to Flagstaff, I have found myself full of energy, excited to create change, live boldly, and explore the world of wellness. I have been writing, reading, working out and... very slowly... learning how to cook healthful foods. I have been able to battle those tricky self-critical thoughts with joyful exuberance and hopeful optimism. And, while I have still been working out on a daily basis and maintaining my healthy diet, this week has been... different. I have had moments of complete self-doubt, exhaustion and total vulnerability, fighting an internal battle between fear and courage. Part of me cried out to return to a boxed-in version of myself, to give up and give in to my familiar counterparts - guilt and shame. The other part of me battled back, fighting tooth and nail to stay strong, remain confident and trust the process.
In essence, I was doing the work.
I just recently finished (as in... today) the book that I have been reading for almost a month - The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. My gorgeous and brilliant sister, two years my junior and one of the most honest, authentic and passionate women I have ever known, has been (not so subtly) suggesting that I read the book for almost three years now. My mother, a sponge for wisdom and knowledge, followed suit, urging me to borrow her well-loved copy of the book. I am not sure why I fought the suggestion for so long, but I am certain that there was a wisdom to why I waited until this moment to finally open the pages.
As it was my mother's copy of the book, loved over, ragged and missing its cover, I took notes in my journal, copying down passages word for word that inspired me as I read. In looking the passages over, the passage above struck a chord in me: problems do not go away. Do the work.
Perhaps it was the emotional result of the past week or the conversations that I have had with friends over the course of the past few days, but, whatever it was, I am reminded that this lifelong journey of self-discovery, positive self-change and internal opening is one of work. It is inevitably one of pain, grunting, and fighting. But joy is its reward. As Peck says,
"Move out or grow in any dimension and pain as well as joy will be your reward. A full life will be full of pain. But the only alternative is not to live fully or not to live at all."
The growing pains are just that... painful. The honest truth is that, whether we choose to look at them, our negative patterns, deep-seated anxieties, and familial/cultural issues play out in our relationships, even in the one that we have with ourselves. Prior to leaving Seattle, I saw a therapist for almost three years, and I can't tell you how much I have grown from the challenge of therapy. But, there is still so much work to be done, so many internal assumptions to be challenged and negative patterns to be explored. And, through all of it, freedom to be found.
To be truly compassionate, to love deeply, to live fully and wholly, we have to do the work. If you've been waiting to make a commitment to yourself, don't waste another minute. The war is full of fear and heartache, but there is liberation and joy found, as well. Know that you are not alone, that there are others along the way, battling alongside you, allies in the struggle. You are courageous and worth the fight.
"Courage is not in the absence of fear; it is in the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future."
The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
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On a personal note: If you are currently looking into finding a therapist, please do your research. Look for reviews, ask trusted family/friends and get recommendations from your community. Ask questions. Not all therapists are created (trained) equal. If you are in the Seattle metropolitan area, please do not hesitate to contact me for recommendations.
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