"The Prophet"
The Prophet of Kahlil Gabran, p. 15-16
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be like a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
I love Kahil Gabran's writing. I'd love your thoughts, though, Katie, on how this poem jives with Matt. 10:8 "and the two shall become one flesh." I feel like this particular excerpt really adheres to the world's wisdom of being "with" someone while remaining separate from them. How to do embrace one-flesh, holy love while holding some part of yourself back?
ReplyDeleteHey Bethany! Thank you for your comment, it's great to hear from you! From my perspective, they are not mutually exclusive -- it is not two halves becoming one flesh, but two whole individuals with their own passions, growing edges and goals. Within the partnership, I believe that there must be differentiation - room to grow, to learn, to explore passions without being fully fused with the other. No lack of commitment, only space to become as an individual within the relationship. Those are my two cents!
DeleteI can see what you're saying, Katie. I guess I see the inverse. I agree that it's not two halves becoming whole, but I see two wholes becoming a new whole (something greater than the sum of its parts, if you will). I find that I grow the most when I am closest to my husband, that I learn the most when I allow him (and our children!) to change me, that our passions are best explored when we support each other (even if I'm not about to start geeking out over computers and he's never going to "get" Dickens :-P) What I see in Gabran's poem, though, is a "holding back," a reservation that reveals the writer fears "losing" himself if he gives himself completely, and that's the part I disagree with. I believe that where there is true love, there can be total giving without loss of self.
ReplyDeleteI completely appreciate what you're saying, Bethany. I believe that, as well -- and have been giving what you've said a lot of thought over the past couple of weeks. You and Brian have such a beautiful relationship, and I think that there is an incredible amount of wisdom cultivated from it :)!
DeleteI think that the part that resonates with me within the excerpt is the idea of continuing to grow as an individual and pursuing individual passions within the beautiful support of the relationship -- that we can, in loving the other, make room and inspire further personal growth while continuing to give of ourselves completely. I guess I also see the fear of "losing" himself in the other as the, in my experience, natural inclination to ignore oneself (especially as women who are taught to focus wholly on those we care for), in the almost disappearing into the other... I'm not sure if this makes sense, but it almost reminds me of infancy, when the infant cannot tell the separation between the mother and child -- that there is no separation in identity between the mother and child. And, as maturation occurs, the bond between mother and child is no less connected but there is recognition of the individual identity within the relationship. Not sure if that makes sense, but I thought I would give it a shot!
Thank you again for all of your comments, Bethany!
A huge debt of gratitude for another beautiful comment from Mr. Gary Rubright:
DeleteHi Katie,
I loved your blog entitled ‘to love’, and wanted to reply, (encouraged by Bethany’s first post), but alas I do not have any of the required accounts to sign in. Hope you don't mind me sending you my thoughts this way.
I think Gibran tips his hand here:
“Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.”
For even the most loving spousal relationship in the end must suffer the dagger of separation. Yet we were created in Love and for Love by the Author of Life. Returning this Love with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind, we should not be surprised to find our Eternal Beloved intimately close, even closer to us than our own thoughts.
I love this. I am going to print it out and keep it somewhere. I love that it transcends religion. I hope to always make an effort to cultivate my OWN dreams and passions and not lose myself entirely in someone or something else. I think there is actually some danger in being enmeshed (family psychologists will tell you that :). I could never express the notion as eloquently as Kahlil Gibran though :) Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis is my other favorite one....one I will pin up on the refrigerator when I have children!
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Love you KK!
I love this, Mary! So beautifully true!
DeleteMary - GREAT poem on parenting! As a mother of 3, I relate so well to it.
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